Rabbit

'Don't play dumb... you know it's over! It's no use trying to create fake expectations, come on... at least be a little fair with yourself, IT'S OVER, this is never going to be the same again. Yeah it's not easy, but it's going to eventually happen so, forget it.'

...
Fuck!

Why? why did you had to be so fucking important?

Why did you always have a huge impact in my life?!


It's really hurtful you know? I know you are being honest and trying to help me, so I can let go the lies in my head, but it hurts!! It really really does !!

And the worst is, You don't even realize how much you break my heart everytime you spill out those cold words.


It's always so easy on you,

I was the one that make this relationship stronger... I was the one that even started it.


You could at least thank me, because I know that you enjoyed it!

You loved when you knew you were being loved, and still... you didn’t even gave me a clue!

How could I know if I were being loved back?

You let me suffer and do the things all by myself,

You didn't even make a move while you enjoyed being touched with the small hands that gave you so much pleasure,

''Without thinking I put my hand on your neck. You say nothing and you do nothing.

I'm gonna sing the last lullaby for you while you smile at me.

I wonder why I fell in love with you. Impossible love.''

You knew I was being hurted, you saw the tears in my eyes, you saw the moments that I could no longer force a smile, still your reputation was more important, your pride was above the love you felt...

Don't deny! I know it was there I SAW IT in your eyes!



'What's wrong?' You knew what was happening...

'N-nothing!' I faked another smile.

'Oh come on... you are strange... tell me.'

'Well... would you let me kiss you?' I looked to the ground I was sad...

'Yeah, why are kisses so important? I think there are lots things more important than a kiss...'



Yeah, I agree... but kissing you was the only way that I thought you would finally confess your feelings.



And still I didn’t kiss you, I tried to believe it was because of my respect to you... But...

It was obvious that I was scared, I don’t have the confidence to be rejected by you... it would kill me,

But yeah I was fucking scared, I didn't wanted us to be the same,
I wanted to love you and to be loved back!

that wasn’t going to happen... was it?


society would never allow it,

 
.

----
N.A.
Okay minha amada gente xD, eu sei q ta confuso... e uma porcaria , mas este blog é o
unico sitio em q posso falar livremente e escrever o q estou a sentir na hora,
*foi mesmo para isso q eu o fiz, para quando me passar da cabeça ou tver uma vontade
enooorme d desabafar e deitar tudo ca para fora poder escrever aqui, portanto...
a maior parte do q encontrarem aqui nao vos deve fazer sentido...
escrever as coisas d cabeça quente pode ou nao dar bom resultado xD*
 
< 3

Forty days of sinner’s rain

Today she told me that rain stops people's lifes...

i dont really think that way...


Rain makes people find a new way, choose a new path in their lifes!

Do you think the sun is shy? ... *giggles* ... maybe he is.


In my opinion, when it rains, it's because of people's sins... the sun is punishing us.


And he uses the rain to wash our sins and take them far far away.


And when he appears again, we are pure... well ... sorta,


But people don't learn... and continue. The sun is going to freeze us all. *sigh*


Look... it's raining again, and it won't stop.


I wanna see the sun... i miss him, i miss when i could play outside, i miss the heat... i miss the light!,


... why do i talk?... it's not like i'm going to be listened, aw geez., i'm tired!...


i give up! continue people... FUCK, KILL, HATE, who cares? no one cares, I CARE, but it's just me , and i'm probably gonna commit the same sins that you did, or maybe even worst.



oh, the sun is back, i'm probably gonna enjoy it until some guy decides to beat up his wife and kids,



what a wonderfull world this is, dont you think?

Your cries become screams, your face expressionless... My eyes blurred by tears..

that killing pain, it agonizes me.. ENOUGH ! its enough i say!


hurt by fake smiles, raped by the injustice commited in those filthy, horrible acts
there's no human being capable of such dispicable acts... perhaps a beast, perhaps the demon itself
i cant take it,... im really sorry but i cant take it anymore,


the screams, the insane and sadistic actions, the violence.. the words you speak.. 'dont worry everything is going to be okay'' SUCH TERRIBLE LIES , LIES LIES LIES ! there's no truth in those words... this never was a happy family... never will... NEVER EVER will,
sure this hurts me very much... but the things that kills me inside, little by little, silently, everyday, it's called the injustice


nothing can be worst to me than the injustice, its everywhere and all around


dont take me wrong... i commit injustices myself, but im concious of it, and im not proud... and yes... later i will be truly sorry for that... but then i remember... all the injustice i have commited it was always to make other people happy, and never to myself


because i knew, those who suffer from my injustices didnt deserved the happy life i always wanted...


That really happy life... simple... not expensive and nether with lots of handsome man... just a happy family, A TRULY happy family...


and now! NOW that all the tears have dry, now that the feeling, that was constantly hurting, in my weak... and still strong heart is hidden very deep, very very deep; I raise my head and start a new path, leaving everything behind trying to find that happyness everybody talks about... perhaps a mith... anyway this will be my last try, because the stapples and tape who support the little weak heart are no good, the heart cant take another strike... the only one who can cure the poor heart is happyness

hmm i lied! i dont only want happyness... but if i can get it is okay!, i also would like it to appear in a shape of a young man... and then if possible i wish that happyness could evolute to a man a woman and a healthy child... and i SWEAR ! i truly truly swear !!, that i wont let that child with a sad weak heart...

i will give her everything i didnt had ! and i will help her to find happyness.

but for now... i will try to find that young men... if he trully exists i dont think i have to wait long...


my dream of building a home, a beautiful happy and colourful home... it will never be forgotten


because... i know ... there's lots of people out there like me... just trying to get to know a little bit, a tiny tiny bit of happyness... and unfortunatly... those people are always going to exist... because like i said, injustice is everywhere and all around


and its trying to get you and if you let your guard down it will trully eat you alive.